Recently, I have found myself really thinking about myself, my future and how I feel. I unfortunately am one of those people who either try not to acknowledge their feelings and block them out, or get so stressed and emotional (mostly from confrontation), that I burst into tears. For some reason, I feel really unhappy. Although I have things which could be connected to that reason, I don't have a specific reason. Maybe it's just the stress of the exams. I don't like to overthink, because I know that it makes me unhappy. You find yourself staring into space, thinking about your day, what happened to you, etc., and then you dwell on your mistakes and what you could do better. You become so obsessed with these minor details that you end up in tears over the past. Then the next day comes, and the vicious cycle continues. It's such a self destructive pattern that hundreds of people don't even realise that they do it.
I do know, however, that I am extremely grateful for everything I have in my life. I'm grateful for my legs, for being strong throughout all of the times I have had to trek though London, or dance for hours on end. My arms for being able to lift my niece up and swing her around until she squeals! My (moderate) good looks... I mean, they could be worse! My voice, hair, eyes, ears, torso, EVERYTHING! I'm glad to have parents who stand by me, help me improve and support me financially and emotionally through everything I want to do. My education and my friends. Without it all, I would probably be a lot worse off... Or a cell floating through the ocean, soon to evolve into a superior race. Who knows!
Anywho, sorry for not posting for a week. Exams have been hella hectic, but I could be posting more often as I will soon have about three months until college! My Instagram is much more active, with daily updates of my life (as if my ramblings once or twice a week wasn't enough!). Happy revision/Saturday, and good luck to those who have exams coming up!
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